Friday, 31 August 2007

start of a late diary!

ok gang well im 7 weeks into the diet, i am doing the cambridge diet. i have a long way to go i thought that i would start this to get all my thoughts out...everyone elses has inspired me so maybe mine might help.

Why am i doing this diet?

to be honest in my opinion i do think that this is the laziest way to diet, but so what?!it works and that is the aim of any diet. i am someone who if i can eat believe me i WILL eat, and i wont stick in the "allowed" list. this diet completely cuts out everything, no excuses for oh i didnt no i couldnt eat them, or i thought i was allowed 24 not 2 :S!!! i have done absolutely everything to lose weight. ive took laxatives, ive done slim fast ive stopped eating for pretty much 6 months!i looked fab but put more on that what i weighed in the first place as soon as i had a munch. this diet works. u slim now and work later (gym etc)

im 21 years of age and i am the most paranoid person that you will ever come accross. Every one thinks of me as tina the party girl.....could be true...except it takes me a 10 double vodkas and cokes b4 she comes out and then i make a fool of my self. I will NOT go out the weekend as the crowds scare me majorly. ive always been claustraphobic which we will find out whether that is because im actually just scared of crowds or because im afraid of ppl judging me. the more ppl the more nasty things i can hear. Also when im pushing through a crowd i feel as if im inconvieniencing them because of my weight i dont like asking ppl if i can squeeze through in case i knock them over. If we are walking down the street when im out at the clubs i walk in between everyone as the worse thing ever in my opinion would be walking with people and someone passing comment on just one individual so i think if i hide they may not see me and not comment. only now have i realised how far this has become. my mates have suffered because of me too. I go out and they dont care what people think of them but i make them stand in the corner with me.

i know this time i will hit my target and i will become the skinny girl that has been hiding inside me all this time. i have lived a lie my whole life and now its time to become someone ive always wanted to be. I think like this.....all the times i have been out, all the guys who i have seen out who i havent even looked at cos i thought i would never have a chance, wouldnt dance in a bar even though i was dying to have a shake will all be finished with within a few months. what is a few months without food. a few months of nearly every week becoming happier and happier and making it show in my appearance, my tone, my stance, my walk.... everything! im sick of walking into evans and it being my life. no offence to anyone but i am a 21 year old girl, i do try to make the best out of my self but when u see some one else who is 60 years old in a top i have bought from evans its not the best feeling. If i was to buy it from topshop this would not happen! im constantly being told you have such a pretty face. one day ill just get "u r fabulous" ive posted some pics for you to see...before pics.....

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purposely i have told every one i know that i am doing this diet therefore know that if i give up every one would think of me as a failure. i cannot have that! up to now i have lost 2 stone 7 lbs. these are some after pics havent got many pics but here goes..

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

u can tell in my face more so

so far i love the diet. had no problems at all!trying to stay away from town of a night right now. no point me goin out losing confidence when im slowly building it back up. will go when im ready to stun them all!

anyway thats it for now.

be back soon.thanks to all reading i feel so much betta!